“Women want to be loved, but men want to be shown respect”. That’s a common expression elevated in my culture. Is there any truth to the aforementioned? Without a qualm, you love your spouse, but sometimes, especially when disagreements arise, the respect within that relationship seems to crumble. Yes, oftentimes when tension abounds, we do and say things we know we’ll later regret. What about you? Do you maintain an encouraging decorum when arguments come up or do you send out insults, driving a knife through your mate’s honour and dignity?
Maintaining a relationship takes work; if you have the tendency to be disrespectful, you’ll be breaking down what you’ve worked so hard to build. But, why is respect so tantamount in a relationship and how can you exhibit respect when the urge to lose it is strong?
What’s the problem?
Men and women communicate things differently. Unparalleled needs might incite a woman to blab about her emotions for an entire day. Diametrically opposed, a man just wants to fix things, solve the problem right there and then.
As a consequence of a man and a woman’s unique nature, it’s challenging to exhibit respect. Solving a problem swiftly is not wrong, but husbands, do you show your wife respect when you simply disregard her emotions because you want to get to the point?
Bridging these differences is then important to both parties demonstrating respect. How can this be achieved?
Intimating respect within the relationship calls for understanding. A man should make every attempt to understand his woman’s needs and vice versa. It’s no difficult feat to show respect to someone in authority, but what about doing so with your spouse, someone who’s your equal? Obviously, that’s a challenge. However, irrespective of the vigorous effort you’ll need to put forth, it’s plausible to respect your mate in all matters.
How to demonstrate that you RESPECT your mate
Before delving into the matter at hand, you will fail or even relapse in showing respect. This is a continuous effort. “Rome was not built in a day”. The same applies to showing respect. When there’s a relapse or slip up, it’s important to sincerely apologise and take action to right the wrong. So, here goes… Here’s how to treat your partner with respect.
- Talk less, listen more
We all just want to get our point across. Especially if our mate says something that we might find slighting, the impulse is to ‘jump the gun’ and refute that statement. But really, do you need to? Allow your mate to have their say. After reckoning that they’ve pronounced what they needed to, you can then present your situation.
To interrupt your mate as he (she) speaks subtracts from his dignity, not add to it. Listening to your mate’s expression allows you to understand what they feel, and it puts you both in a better position to resolve the issue.
“Plans fail when there’s no consultation”. Involve each other in the decision-making process. You’re a unit, a team; not a single entity. When decisions are made based on consultation, it shows that both parties respect the input and counsel of the other. Men, how would you feel if your wife went ahead and bought a new car without giving you a single hint? Women, what would your thoughts be if your husband invited a bunch of his friends over, without even letting you know?
Different perspectives will be raised on the questions asked above, but irrespective, the family does not constitute a single being. As such, decisions should be made together. It shows respect and plans will actually work.
- Avoid hurtful speech
What do you do when you feel slighted? Yes, I did mention ‘feel slighted” because sometimes there’s really no offence. It could be that what is expressed by your mate is not something you particularly like. When feeling slighted, do you lash out with provocative words or even try to get even? Using demeaning and unbecoming speech in your relationship is a clear indication that you lack respect for your mate.
Speak consolingly to your mate. Even when offended, do not repay evil for evil. It’s easy to get even, but is it worth it?
Another aspect of avoiding hurtful speech is resisting the urge to speak badly about your mate in public. Do you demean your mate’s efforts in the presence of friends and family? Do you use terms such as ‘incompetent’, ‘nincompoop’, or ‘idiot’ as a label? Empathise… Likely, you wouldn’t deem it loving if your mate were to call you stupid. Be careful not to destroy your mate’s self-confidence. On the other hand, a loving spouse seeks out every opportunity to praise their mate.
- Support each other
As mentioned from the outset, men and women have unique inclinations. Aspirations in life will differ. Support each other. If your spouse is aspiring to pursue a particular course, as long as it’s not illegal and does not disturb the peace and unity of the family, be supportive.
Support comes in many forms. Are you eager to run errands that are directly related to your mate’s pursued goal? Do you reiterate in your mind that he’ll (she’ll) fail miserably? If your response to the stated questions are ‘no’ and ‘yes’ respectively, you could be fostering an unsupportive spirit.
- Avoid being physically abusive
Men are commonly seen as the aggressors, but I’m here to tell you that some men are victimised, opened, and exposed to violence and abuse within the home. Yes, there are some strong and confrontational females who’ll scream and throw anything they grasp during an argument. Forgive me, this isn’t a browbeating session, but I thought it was just appropriate to underscore the truth. Men, likewise women, need to stop abusing each other physically. Love is not abusive.
Respect can be earned in any relationship. Couples should ensure that this aspect of their union isn’t taken casually, but elevated, as respect could determine whether a relationship hit rock bottom or float. Are you making every effort to treat your mate with respect? Sound off in the comment section and let me know.