What common goals couples should have to foster a healthy relationship? Several might come to mind. If you find it a struggle to set goals for a healthy relationship, you’re not alone. Many couples struggle with setting important goals to make their relationships last. Within this article, one of our contributors highlights a few worthy goals to set.
“The way I am running is not aimlessly; the way I am aiming my blows is so as not to be striking the air”. Setting goals for a healthy relationship show direction and stability. They create a sense of security and certainty. Have you set goals couples should have in your relationship to ensure it flourishes and blossoms into something beautiful?
These common goals for couples do not have to include material possessions, but uncomplicated ways that will increase the longevity of your union and love for each other. If you’re married or working on it, here are 6 common goals for a healthy relationship with your spouse.
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Common Goals Couples Should Have for a Healthy Relationship
It’s the little things that count. Once your spouse sees the effort you make, they might be moved to meet you halfway. A relationship without goals is destined to fail. You, and your mate, should be actively seeking meaningful ways to improve on what you have to make things a success.
Without goals, there’s no direction; and without direction, you could simply meet a dead end. Let’s jump right into those goals for a healthy relationship you should be striving for.
1. Focus on Being Better Individuals
Prior to implementing any other relationship goal, your prerogative should include developing you as an individual. Are there any attributes you could develop or improve on to make you a better mate? Do you have any habits that could be merrily flushed down the toilet? Making regular self-assessments should afford you the opportunity to make the necessary adjustments.
Do not be stringent or reason, “This is how I was made and you need to accept me as is.” No, that’s not the right attitude. Rather, you need to pay attention and work tirelessly on ways to improve, especially when your mate points out a particular problem.
No one is perfect. An excellent workman always searches for new ways to hone and harness his skills. Shouldn’t you make room for improvements in your relationship?
Tip: Make an unbiased evaluation of who you are as an individual. If you need help, ask a close friend who’s not afraid to spill the beans. Better yet, sit down with your mate and listen carefully, even when you don’t agree with what’s being said.
2. Give Attention to Your Role in the Family
Each member of a family has a unique role to play. A woman is often found taking the lead within the family; she’s more inclined to beautify the home, ensure the kids are taken care of, and show deep respect for her man.
Although a woman might be secularly employed and make her own money, the man is often looked-upon to provide financial stability.
Either way, society has drastically changed, and you and your spouse will need to determine what happens indoors. Will you both work to care for the ever-changing demands of life? Will you stay home to hold the fort down while the other works? Whichever decision is made, each couple needs to be on the same page.
If you aren’t in this phase of your relationship where you both are living together, it’s good to consider the changes required when you do make that step. Once these are identified, set goals around these, and each should play his part.
House chores are endless; each member of the family needs to carry their own share of the load to make it work.
Tip: Make a list of your roles as a man and a woman. What roles you play in your relationship does not depend on society. If you both are comfortable working secularly, go for it. In some situations, there are stay at home dads, just as there are stay at home moms.
3. Put Each Other’s Interest First
A relationship shouldn’t be based on selfishness. Couples should be willing to get things done for each other. Instead of putting their needs ahead of their mate’s, they should consider that individual’s interest first.
The aim is to be self-sacrificing, rather than selfish. If you’re going to make a decision, even if you have the right to, but it’s going to affect your mate, wouldn’t it be loving to let that person know? Put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if they made decisions behind your back and those that would likely cause you harm or put you in a difficult situation?
When you put your mate’s interest ahead of your own, you’re seeking ways to make them happy.
Putting each other’s interest first calls for a compromise or the making of concessions. Do you always insist on your way, regardless of what’s at stake and who you might hurt? Such selfishness, though a common problem in the family, should be rooted out promptly.
Tip: Before making a decision, consider how your spouse feels. That will prompt you to discuss the matter with your mate, before making a decision. This is one of the most important goals for a healthy relationship.
4. Communicate Better
Communication is a vital ingredient to the success of a relationship. Lack of communication creates suspicion, insecurities, loneliness, and can cause infidelity. A married couple should make time to talk and discuss important matters relating to the family’s welfare. Though each individual may live busy lives, it’s not implausible to communicate during the day.
Improvements in technology have made it even easier for couples to communicate. On the other hand, it could cause a division within the family. Instead of spending time on technology performing mundane activities, why not make it a priority to contact your mate during the day, especially while away from home?
You might be amazed at the power of a simple, “How is your day going?” text message. Look out for every opportunity to communicate with your loved ones.
Tip: Try to eat a meal together every day. Make use of every opportunity to communicate with your mate. When spending quality time together, resist the urge to be on social media. They need your attention, all of it!
5. Willingness to Compromise
How do you settle disagreements and differences when they rear their ugly heads in the family? Do you always insist that you have the upper hand, that you’re right and your spouse should apologize? Sometimes it’s necessary to throw your pride and ego out the window, just to patch things up.
Especially when the needs of the family come to play, what you want might clash with what your spouse wants. What will you do? Again, will you always insist on your own way? When you look out for your mate’s interest ahead of your own, you’ll always make room to compromise.
Two different minds won’t always agree, but you can come to an agreement for the sake of peace and your relationship. This, my friend, is one of the most important goals for a healthy relationship.
Tip: Learn to oblige your mate. Sometimes it’s pointless to argue when a simple disagreement can be laid to rest. Sometimes it’s best to give up this one thing to ensure your relationship survives.
6. Be a Better Listener
Like all the other goals for a healthy relationship mentioned in this post, this one is important. Can you imagine nodding to everything your mate says, while glued to your smartphone? Not only is that embarrassing to your mate, but it’s disrespectful.
It’s also best to avoid talking when your mate is. This is especially important when disagreements arise. You need to allow your mate to express how they feel, without interjecting at every spoken word. As a famous book says, “there’s a time for everything”. Listen carefully, and after your mate has said their piece, then you can say what you need to.
While you may not interrupt while your mate is speaking, you could wander in thoughts. This, too, is disrespectful, because it shows that you don’t place enough value on what your mate is saying to give a listening ear.
If you’re not an active listener in your relationship, important details could pass you by.
Tip: Be slow about speaking… Do not allow your mouth and your partner’s to compete. This isn’t Family Feud.
Goals for a Healthy Relationship, Conclusion
It’s hard to set goals for a healthy relationship. However, if you set goals to be a better individual, carry out your role in the family; put your mate’s interest first, improve on how you communicate, learn to compromise, and be an active listener, your relationship will blossom. Things won’t always be easy, but once you focus on goals couples should have, your relationship will improve.
Though putting into practice the given 6 goals for a healthy relationship won’t be easy, it can be done with much exertion and effort. Simply ‘trying’ will go a far way.
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Originally published: February 1, 2018
Updated: October 23, 2019